I'm not racist, just hungry.
When I'm hungry - I mean, I haven't eaten in 18 hours - I need the restaurant I may be in to accomodate me. Hungry + impatient = complete lack of understanding.
Enter: The Chinese Restaurant.
Where are the pictures? If you are not ordering something you know, you may be in for it. "Sub Gum Wonton" and "Moo Goo Gai Pan" don't exactly spell it out for me. Oh, and I see the description here reads "with Chicken, Beef, and Shrimp" and the other one is "with Beef, Shrimp, and Chicken" - mmm, resequenced meat is a difference you can taste!!!
It's a secret club. If you're bold, maybe you'll ask the server to explain a dish to you. Here's where you will receive one of two delightful options.
1. The server speaks worse English than the menu. Your frustration is increased, go directly to Oriental Avenue. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
2. The server talks to you like a tech geek explaining how your computer's memory has been reallocated to an improper resource. They do this on purpose -
"It's served with chicken, hot and sour vegetables, and szechaun sauce." OR
"It's beef, mandarin style, with mixed vegetables, in a brown sauce."
What in the hell am I getting!!?? What do those descriptions mean!!!??? Brown sauce?? Hot and sour vegetables??? Mandarin style? What the fuck is szechuan?
Here's the kicker. Since you've walked in, the entire asian staff has had a running bet. The employees have wagered whether you will get "Sweet and Sour Chicken" or "General Tso's." And this menu combined with your server's help should be just enough to confuse you into one of the two.
You feel cornered. You came here to try something different this time. The courage you once felt has been swept away by cryptic and difficult food descriptions. It's time to order.
"Can I take-a you orda now?"
"Yes. I'll have the Chicken and Broccoli."
And just when you thought you had the wager pool figured out, a single cook from the back begins laughing. He just won $20.
Son of a bitch.
Enter: The Chinese Restaurant.
Where are the pictures? If you are not ordering something you know, you may be in for it. "Sub Gum Wonton" and "Moo Goo Gai Pan" don't exactly spell it out for me. Oh, and I see the description here reads "with Chicken, Beef, and Shrimp" and the other one is "with Beef, Shrimp, and Chicken" - mmm, resequenced meat is a difference you can taste!!!
It's a secret club. If you're bold, maybe you'll ask the server to explain a dish to you. Here's where you will receive one of two delightful options.
1. The server speaks worse English than the menu. Your frustration is increased, go directly to Oriental Avenue. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
2. The server talks to you like a tech geek explaining how your computer's memory has been reallocated to an improper resource. They do this on purpose -
"It's served with chicken, hot and sour vegetables, and szechaun sauce." OR
"It's beef, mandarin style, with mixed vegetables, in a brown sauce."
What in the hell am I getting!!?? What do those descriptions mean!!!??? Brown sauce?? Hot and sour vegetables??? Mandarin style? What the fuck is szechuan?
Here's the kicker. Since you've walked in, the entire asian staff has had a running bet. The employees have wagered whether you will get "Sweet and Sour Chicken" or "General Tso's." And this menu combined with your server's help should be just enough to confuse you into one of the two.
You feel cornered. You came here to try something different this time. The courage you once felt has been swept away by cryptic and difficult food descriptions. It's time to order.
"Can I take-a you orda now?"
"Yes. I'll have the Chicken and Broccoli."
And just when you thought you had the wager pool figured out, a single cook from the back begins laughing. He just won $20.
Son of a bitch.