Christmas in Cleveland
Little known fact: We all know that the Pilgrims took baby Jesus on a voyage to America in search of the Fountain of Youth, but they in fact never landed in Florida like we once thought. They landed in Cleveland. There hopes of keeping baby Jesus an infant forever were dashed, but their discovery of Cleveland and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame prompted them to have a Christmas here immediately. So, it is with great pleasure that I celebrate Christmas here in this city. And to carry on the tradition of the Pilgrims, I brought a real live tree into my house and decorated it with lights to ward off evil spirits and promote my leathers and pelts.